Lucky last- Putting the baby clothes away for good.

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Tomorrow marks 2 years since we welcomed our youngest into the world. He was our little miracle so soon after a miscarriage and he’s the final addition to our family.  While he enters another year of toddler life, I’m reminded that he is no longer my little baby anymore. The baby clothes have been packed away in storage, waiting to be passed down to future nieces, nephews or grandchildren. Baby rattles have been replaced with blocks, walking has progressed to running and baby babble has quickly turned into words and sentences. Some families make the decision not to have anymore children, and some have that decision made for them. Our decision is one we had to make late last year due to my own health complications, one that has taken me a while to be okay with. I’ve been blessed with two beautiful children who are growing so fast that some days I just want to freeze time and keep them as they are right now.  2 years on from the newborn stage, and I’ve finally accepted that there will be no more babies in our future. There will be no more little kicks or movements in my belly, no more pregnancy cravings, no more breastfeeding and no more first cries, first smiles or first steps. Those first milestones that we so impatiently want our first born to meet , suddenly become moments we want to hold onto and soak in with our last. We find ourselves torn between the excitement of our children learning new things, and the sadness that comes with knowing that we won’t get to relive that moment again. As my boy turns two tomorrow, I will remember his first breath and the way he gripped my finger so tightly. I will hold onto the memories of his first smile and I will remember the excitement of wondering what he would look like, what he would be like and who he would become. I will celebrate my own journey of motherhood so far and look forward to the future of raising children who have left babyhood behind ✨

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